By Laura Castanza and Julia George ©2022

Human beings are social creatures and naturally gravitate towards each other throughout a lifetime. Beginning with family, we establish a social network, then branch out to develop friendships. As we mature, our social circles expand to include work and areas of interest. When we sustain a connection with a group, it becomes our tribe. How long we sustain within the tribe is a matter of time, based on our soul’s commitment.

Our tribe of origin is family, and our soul chooses the conditions along with other souls. This belief grants us both freedom and responsibility in how we conduct our self and the choices we make. Some souls remain within a close family unit, while others move away, having moderate to no connection with family or their past.

There is no right or wrong in choosing our tribe or moving on to seek another. The primary reason is growth. When we think about our life on Earth, it is full of opportunities for growth. We may choose to embrace all the changes that come with living and being human, or resist, trying to stop or slow the inevitable. The Universe will support whatever path we choose. It is our personal journey with no roadmap to living.

When we choose to move beyond the family tribe, it’s usually due to a high level of dysfunction, abuse, or detachment that developed early. Whatever the reason, our soul makes a decision to seek something different and find a new tribe. In our quest for a new tribe, we will likely come in contact with others who represent the tribe of origin as we seek to heal. When we are unaware, it is likely we stay in the dynamics because the familiarity is strong. If we wake up, see the pattern, and choose to grow beyond those confines, we become free to move to new healing levels.

As our awareness increases, so does our desire to release the past and evolve. The conscious journey to find a new tribe can result in connecting with one that is the antithesis of our family. The initiation can be refreshing and fascinating, bringing forth elements of life we never encountered. Experiencing extreme opposites is enticing, and we may stay on for the duration. Whether we like it or not, without the wake-up call of a hard lesson, we will be unable to see through facades and distractions at the master plan at work.

Once our soul moves beyond the flash of new encounters, our awareness will lead us to those areas of our being still in need of healing. We must take the time we need, but in awareness, we have to move on, as the impact of obstacles can impede our progress for lifetimes.
The insidious obstacles of addiction are the most challenging. Addictions, either process or substance, are another tempting form of distraction. Tribes can encompass any or all addictions, making our awareness a key factor in advancing our soul.

Tribes may operate at a base level, relating superficially and satisfying primal needs, while others are connecting at higher frequencies towards betterment. We can vacillate between tribes as our soul searches for a fit. We may actually traverse the higher realms of human relating, but then descend to heal old wounds. This is part of the process. Any shift towards an old pattern or tribe is a call for honesty and awareness of how we are operating, and to clarify the direction we’re headed. We can move into the tribe that supports our soul’s purpose. The more open to change, the less suffering we endure from preconceptions of relating and tribal belonging.

We need not intellectualize the process of finding or connecting with others. Integration happens at a feeling level, “the vibe of the tribe”. It’s the inward journey of discovering our self, manifested outwardly in others that represent where we are at in the process of bridging our head (thoughts) and our heart (feelings).

The synergy among members of a tribe flows, whether productive or destructive. It’s our responsibility to define our self in that flow. How do we fit in, and how do we resonate with the direction of the group with whom we associate? These questions can come up often, prompting us to pay attention and look at our motivation. When conflict arises, is it often, and how is it handled? We may experience some type of alienation within a tribe which reinforces our shadow traits…low self-worth, rejection, anger, not having a voice, weak boundaries, and many more… The separation could be within us as an individual or exemplified in others. This is the exercise of awareness, and hopefully, we are genuinely connected to Universal consciousness and others who can help us to assess the truth of the experience.

There is a tribe for all of us, and we may be a member of several: family, friends, meetups, work…at various levels. It is not only healthy to play a part in each one, it is mandatory. When we operate authentically throughout: feeling, knowing, with openness and flexibility, then we are able to attract a tribe that represents the best of our being and supports our soul’s journey and fulfillment.

by Laura Castanza and Julia George ©2018

Our lives are a culmination of personal experiences from this lifetime and others, shaped by family, culture, and society. We openly share it or selectively hide it. Either way, our story lives within us as a blessing or a burden depending upon our level of awareness. Once we decide to investigate how our story drives our experiences, we can release any control it has over the choices we make.  It is only at this point where we are able to move forward with more freedom and opportunity for peace.

Our primary caregivers are the main characters in our story. They influence our perceptions and behaviors at the time when we are most impressionable. Even as information technology brings faraway places, energy, and people into our environment, most of our stories manifest from our immediate, interpersonal relationships.

All of our experiences are linked to feelings or sensations that become a memory or mental construct known as “the story”. Created by every experience and catalogued in our mind, we often reference the past as thoughts, but our memories are rooted in feeling. Thinking is an assessment or interpretation from those feelings which guide our journey. An experience might provoke a feeling of high levels of ecstasy or misery, and everything in between. Our perception makes the feeling real and tangible. From there, we are attracted or distanced consciously, unconsciously, or more often subconsciously, to situations that initiate a particular feeling we felt in the past.

It has been discovered that even within the same family unit where a child has a perception of their experience, the family members can have a totally different view of what actually happened, but the child’s perception is still valid and in need of healing. The feelings remain real to the adult child although the details of the story are questionable.

We cannot clearly see and we are not open to, what is in front of us when our subconscious memories are influencing a present moment experience. As a result, we squelch what could be an opportunity or a receptive line of communication because we “think” we know the thoughts and behaviors of others. This is the lie that leads us down a dark path of generalizations, discrimination, and conflict.

Considering the human thought process, we can barely catch what we are thinking and why, and therefore project onto others to validate what we believe is true. We want to be right, even if it’s unhealthy. It is an addictive process we develop when the quest for our wants exceeds our innate sense of what is best for us.

Tracking our mind is the most important aspect of our evolution as a human that we constantly ignore. Consider that war and peace are driven by human emotion…If we had greater discipline and understanding the tremendous influence our emotions play in the course of our life, we could experience true peace within and without more often than not.

Although we can look at peace from a collective stand point such as “world peace”, the healing of humanity can only happen through individual effort. World peace is beyond our grasp when we have not healed the story on a personal level. When we blame the world, we are looking outside of our self, deeming our self powerless, and losing control and direction.  Inner peace is the place to focus and apply our energy.  This requires a level of stillness in our day to day life, through reflecting upon actions and movements we make alone and with others. When we work on creating an unshakable personal energy system, the external chaos has little to do with our well being. Regaining center when the world is out of balance is possible and more quickly accessible.

Emotions dominate the story and is a repeated and burdensome process we live out unconsciously until we have honed our awareness. Every person, place, or thing is the by-product of the feelings (positive or negative) that perpetuate until we learn the best way to experience our lives. One example is the thought process surrounding our job. If we come from a family, culture, or society that perceives work as an arduous necessity that must be endured at any cost to survive, then we will be inclined to that mode of operation.

Similar stories play out in our relationships, especially when partnering with another. Whether business, personal, or more intimate, the story can override growth and opportunity because of the past at play. There will always be traits exhibited in others so familiar to us that we react in patterns from the past.  When the story is running in the recesses, it is a foundation that turns negative when projected onto the present moment. When we track our mind and become aware of any past story at any given moment, we can correct it and move forward. This aggressive intervention will liberate our self and illuminate what is right in front of us.

Our awareness that all situations offer lessons that can become more positive as we engage without judgment, allows us to remain open with others and experience the meaning of our engagement. Without it, we are not growing. There is no problem in being discerning of situations, as long as we do not shroud them in the story. Growth and healing through interpersonal relating is why we are here, and our progress depends on our responses.

Our interactions are co-creations with those we encounter. There is freedom in knowing we can positively navigate our energy system and our interactions. It matters not how others respond IF we are coming from a place of awareness where we honor our self and others. When we are enmeshed in the story, we lose sight of our intention. The story appears when we are not aware, to then become a hard lesson. Awareness is our ally and we can only access this tool through consistent practice of being in the moment.  We arrived in the body with this ability, and it is our responsibility to find the way to transform the story, change the energy, and be free.

For more information or to discuss this topic one-on-one, contact Julia George at 561.750.9292

See The Story as published in Natural Awakenings Broward June 2018 edition.

I wasn’t paying attention to anything in my life; I was just existing. I was 23 years old. Julia and I worked together and had regular conversations that snapped me into reality…the reality that I was living in such a way that I wasn’t taking care of myself. It was then that I started my journey.

I was intrigued by Julia’s absolute honesty in conversations like what it means to feel things… to realize that all the pain that we go through is nothing more than our own doing…the way we choose to stay stuck with the familiar rather than embrace the different and potentially life-changing choices of the unknown. I had close friends or people that I considered very close but no one ever spoke to me the way that Julia did. I had to find out more.

Every human needs to heal their soul. Shadow Work is the deepest and most thorough way to get to the heart of the soul.

The people in our lives are here to show us our self. We are hurt and neglected and we can learn to accept our selves fully. We can be independent and not seek the approval of others. I’ve finally gotten to know my shadow and begin to make peace with it. To accept that it is part of me. That I am perfectly imperfect.

Learning to let go and detach has been very difficult for me but has also been one of the most liberating lessons. Who is little Steve and taking care of him. I’m looking at all of my relationships and seeing how I show up for each one of them.

It’s almost impossible to look into the darkness of yourself and see. But when you have guidance that shines light, you can’t look away. Once you see what’s operating in the dark you can no longer ignore it.

With all that I’ve learned there is still always more. As I look at my life now and see how far I’ve come I know that the possibilities are endless. This work doesn’t work if you are not applying it to yourself.

I have come to realize that I am loved and supported by my friends and the universe. That all of this is my creation and that I can handle anything as long as I’m alive. Doing the work of accepting who I am and loving myself just the way that I am.

Julia has shown me myself through her. I am grateful to have met her and be able to call her my sister. Our healing is eternal. Thank you, Julia and for all that you have shown me and continue to reveal.

Steve C. ~ Photographer & Digital Media Expert

Julia has extraordinary intuition & laser focused awareness; my work with her has given me the insight to understand the patterns in my life that divert me from my own peace and joy, the tools to break up those patterns, and the courage to forgive myself, and everyone else.

It’s an iterative process; becoming aware of the patterns has not made them go away, and sometimes I am still surprised with how far along an old path I have gone before I see the pattern. The great news for me is that I do become aware, and I have the tool kit that Julia built with me. I can reach in and use those tools to make the changes that adjust my path back to my own peace.

I find it fascinating that it is easier for me to forgive others than it is to forgive myself. Julia as helped me to say “Hello old friend”, instead of “why the hell am I here AGAIN!” and then it gets easier to forgive myself, laugh, and move forward.

Lorelei W. ~ Artist

Most of my life I lived in fear, always trying to hide my insecurities with “a fake it ’til ya make it” mentality. Life was controlling me and I felt confused, lost, and powerless. Having spent thousands of dollars with coaches and therapists, I was left unfulfilled, dissatisfied, and felt there was more that was not being addressed. I needed someone who could guide me out of my dark mind and teach me how to become the empowered woman I truly am. Most coaches and therapists baby you; Julia is far from this! She is the perfect combination of tough love and truth. If you are willing to work to become the best you can be, Julia is the person for the job!

Tanya S. – Self-Care Relationship Coach

by Laura Castanza and Julia George ©2016

The “One World” view typically relates to world peace through unified human action.  It is portrayed to be something we participate in externally outside of our self, when the complete opposite is true; it’s an inside job.  Our existence is dualistic in nature – wrong and right, shadow and light – which is the cause of our separation. In reality it is a mirror of our own fragmented self.  This is described as a “fall from grace” in religion and labeled a “disorder” by mental health experts.  However we choose to define it, is not nearly as important as healing it.  To become aware of all our potential within (the positive and negative), is the beginning of healing our deepest wounds, and creates wholeness the world will embrace and become.

Most of the time, we do not see duality within our own being and react definitively with our single perspective.  We pass judgment without thought, and criticism without empathy never understanding the “stories” of others’ lives. Yet, we demonstrate a lack of wholeness in how we connect with others (looking for “the one”, or others to complete and define us), and then alienate those whom we perceive to be different from us.  This fractured feeling in our experience can be healed so that we may live an integrated life in health and wholeness.

The division occurs between the Ego and the Spirit.  The ego is our primal function to survive in the physical world, while the Spirit is the innate connection to the Universe.  They grapple only when we are conflicted in thought (the head) and feeling (the heart).  This stems from our story and our decisions combined with our actions either support this conflict, or propels us into higher consciousness and healing.  Why would we prefer pain over ease, chaos over consciousness?  Familiarity.

Familiarity refers to that which we know, “family”. It is the foundation of our life which includes relatives, caregivers, friends, and peers.  Our mindset is conditioned by those of influence in our formative years, and we work within those confines to survive and hopefully thrive.  We already have a predisposition to the order of things that have unfolded for us thus far.  If we are in our ego, we believe we are the center of events, but if our spirit is awakened, then we are more in tune to the rhythm of the Universe and see our self as a creator of our reality.

There exists a delicate balance between our head and heart that we are responsible in maintaining.  Knowledge and knowing is a cold, hard place if the heart is not involved (a lack of experiential learning); and we can easily shut the heart down and fill our head with countless facts, responses, and conclusions based on pains we would rather not experience again.  Many times, we justify our conviction and stance because of negative feelings, yet not take responsibility for the events that caused them.  It’s cause and effect, and if we do not move beyond our ego to the spiritual significance of events, the lesson remains unlearned.

When we look at our belief system, is it bound by convictions, or open to possibilities?  “Yes” and “No” represent two ends of a spectrum of unknowns that surprise us in many ways defined as “maybe”. In what may seem a black and white world, the “maybe” constitutes the gray areas of life.  Yet if we are not open to what could be, we experience dramatic displays of duality and opposition in life.  There is an element of fascination and addiction to this extreme.  Physically we feel a rush of adrenaline, and emotionally we’re validated as a hero or victim, switching our role subconsciously to satisfy the ego’s desire.  We seek instant gratification even in the unhealthiest fashion to meet our “needs” that have no basis in the reality of survival.

Truth and lies are another spectrum we subconsciously swing in between in our duality.  There is Universal Truth, personal truth and lies.  It’s been said that “Every belief has a ‘lie’ in it.”  This is a Universal Truth; this is the duality of our existence we are encouraged to accept.  When we accept, THEN we can experience true peace and authenticity as we participate in the flow of life.

Humans have developed belief systems intended as spiritual guidelines to live in higher consciousness (spirit) or as a means of social control (ego).  There is a fine line in the freedom of our spiritual connection based on equality and the negativity we create in hierarchal establishments that fragment our species through a concentration of differences for physical gain.  If we are not aware, we are participating in the latter.  This again creates an imbalance in feeding the ego and depriving the spirit.  The solution is through our awakening to unify duality.

Once we become aware and see our higher purpose, we are humbled by our actions leading to the path we now choose to embark upon.  This is often the result of an event that ignited our awakening: an accident, injury, separation, sobriety… Humility is surrender, and the only direction is up!  Gratitude is the next level in achieving wholeness.

Expressing gratitude through “thanks”, is an important aspect in bringing us together.  It is acknowledgement, to others and the Universe, that we are equal, keeping us all on a level playing field.  The opposite expression of gratitude is entitlement, for which we have none.  No one owes us anything.  Everything we do is voluntary through our choices, first at a soul level and then a human level when we are adults.  Karma is the result of our choices.  It can be positive, negative, or neutral, and can change at any time.  A benevolent Universe offers countless opportunities, illuminating our path. We only need to be open in heart and mind equally to catch on. There is no return to slumber from here.

As soul benefactors, we must remain connected to the Universe in which duality plays out yet again through “being” and “doing”. When being, we are receptive to energy and messaging…that which is going on around us.  In doing, we are actively engaged in the process.  We must balance the two, not becoming lazy in being or overextended in doing.  This is the middle road.

We are only able to balance through our awareness.  Knowing we can tip the scales at any time, we must strive to keep our self in health and wholeness.  Unifying duality is the most difficult task, but one with the greatest payoff: PEACE!

For more information or to discuss this topic one-on-one, contact Julia George / AquarianAge at 561.750.9292

By Laura Castanza and Julia George ©2015


Society and culture create the canvas of our larger belief systems and protocol in relating with one another. Family dynamics paint a detailed picture of how we relate more intimately.  Partnerships are intimate relationships we develop for business, friendship, companionship, and procreation.  This one-on-one arena is truly designed for deep healing at a soul level.  We may quantify a partnership as a success or failure; but spiritually, these relationships teach us valuable lessons.  When we partner, consciously or not, it is the perfect partner for the time and always intended as growth in terms of what we learn about our self.

As social animals, the primitive instinctual calling to partner or mate is natural.  We have evolved and become a more intelligent species. Our consciousness has expanded and challenged the ways of the past.  The need to procreate is now more of a choice for humankind.  If we cannot procreate naturally, there are alternative methods and also ways to prevent conception.  If we have evolved beyond the biological level to procreate, what is the driving mechanism to partner?

Partnering is normal, but mainstream society creates an illusion regarding our wants and needs.  Wants are cravings and desires based in our mind.  Needs are the basics for survival as a species.  We have confused the two and the core of how we relate is the casualty.  The internet has countless sites to meet all of our desires to partner through dating to find “the one” or pacify our sexual urges through casual encounters or voyeuristic engagement (porn). Meanwhile, society has promoted a “happily ever after” storybook, picturesque life.  Mostly, we are in denial of our subconscious side or completely ignorant of the influence it has in attracting others.  This influence creates conflict in relationships illustrated by the increasing divorce rate, domestic disputes and abuse.   We are such an intelligent species, yet we are hugely unaware, resorting to a primitive approach in meeting our wants and needs.  To resolve this inner conflict we must integrate our core needs with our wants.

Intelligence is only one quarter of our composition.  The other three consist of physical, emotional, and spiritual.  The physical is our body, the vessel of mobility in this life. Our emotions allow us to feel and associate sensation with experience, and the spiritual connects us to all that is greater in this world.  Our problem is our lack of interconnectedness.  Due to this disconnect, we create a significant imbalance.  The balance of wholeness requires us to heal, allowing us to relate to others in a more authentic and healthier way. Our relationships are the microcosm of all the healing needed in the world.

The ability to see our self and begin the process of healing usually happens when we are sick from our conflicted relationships and begin taking responsibility for manifesting and participating.

If we apply a portion of the same energy to the exploration of our self, we are certain to transform the repeated patterns that developed in our formative years negatively affecting our life today.  This is not a solo endeavor. We must work with our self through others, in partnership.  When we partner, we commit to diving deeper within.  If this awareness is not shared, the relationship is imbalanced from the start.  Getting to know each other at a friendship level is optimal because the only commitment is the time it takes to see the other progressively without additional responsibilities (like financial, emotional, and physical…which still can happen but is not often assumed in the beginning).  Even a “casual” friendship reveals family aspects/traits that define our attraction to it, all because of our story.

In our formative years, our story develops and involves adults relating to one another in many ways, most of which are not healthy (codependency, addiction, abuse…).  Our family of origin is our first encounter to intimate relating, yet not in pure form.  This becomes our style of relating even if we work diligently not to repeat the past.  Because familial patterns are so engrained, it takes a consistent level of consciousness with every word, touch, and feeling within to counter our reactions and not act out past negative patterns or roles.  A tacit agreement begins between souls as we reinforce the relationship negatively.

Relationships based from the unconscious are not healthy or progressive.  Unless we identify why we are with someone from the beginning, we are headed down a dark road of deceit.  Deceit is the lie we tell our self to justify why we are with someone, making the relationship work when there is strong indication that negative patterns are the basis for the bond.  For instance, we may play out a role in a relationship where we seek to mold others to our ideals by trying to curb others behaviors, appearance, and perspective to our own.  We unconsciously engage in a power struggle to overpower others with our beliefs, not aware that we are seeking to have our needs met through them.  It is a subconscious pattern that can be changed, but unless we are consciously working on our self (health and healing), we are perpetuating problems by participating.

Our participation can turn positive when we integrate a level of awareness, and conscious communication into our relationships.  If a relationship began in unawareness, it will be a hard lesson learned or not.  It requires the commitment of each person independently to turn a relationship around.  We can agree as a couple to heal, but each person must resolve his/her own internal issues before a positive partnership can truly occur.  This takes acceptance, time, and effort.  As the light of awareness shines onto what the relationship represents, our acceptance and love for its creation is what heals. We created it for our growth and healing.  There is no one to blame and nothing more to it.  It grows or it goes.

If we perceive a relationship to be the impetus to healing, we can manifest true love for our self, others, and the process required to heal.  We lose patience for the process due to the need for instant gratification!  This facilitates the lazy part of our self and will create the same play with different players.  “Anything worth doing is worth waiting for…Patience is a virtue…With experience comes wisdom…”  All the anecdotes are only true when we put them into action, and practice living in the light of awareness.

We will have the relationship we want by being our true self.  Finding out who we are is our responsibility.  Our authenticity or lack thereof will attract the perfect partner even if painful.  When we view life as our creation, we can refine our choices with every breath we take, in every situation.  Conscious effort is most difficult because we are constantly enmeshed in what is happening outside of our self and the subconscious is making our choices unbeknownst to us.  There is no down time, except when we are sleeping (maybe).  The best part is that our work is our reward.  Our relationships become more real, fulfilling, loving, and liberating.  The freedom we give our self is felt by others, and if others are doing the work, it’s fun!  If others are attracted, but do not do the work, then it will be taxing to our soul.  We must keep moving forward taking no prisoners.  Everyone has the same opportunity, we just have to wake up, and take action to heal.

For more information or to discuss this topic, contact Julia George / AquarianAge at 561.750.9292

By Laura Castanza and Julia George ©2015

As natural as the cessation of the physical body is, death is a difficult subject to address, surfacing strong feelings and memories we either acknowledge or deny. Human emotions are powerful and it is rare we perceive death as the normal and frequent cycle evident in everyday living. We experience life and death in the course of each day, with beginnings and endings in everything we do, and in every breath we take until the final exhale. How well we accept this cycle from the seemingly routine and predictable to the abrupt and intensely personal, affects our ability to live peacefully.

Life is ever changing, requiring us to adapt and participate with the natural forces at work as we evolve. What appears to be an end is also a beginning; in between are a multitude of paths/choices that contribute to each outcome/end. Facing our terminal existence before manifesting a life threat frees us from unrealistic burdens making every moment matter.

The process of a beginning, middle, and end repeatedly transforms each moment in subtle or obvious ways. Our own human journey begins with our entry into this world, goes through stages of physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual changes throughout our life (middle), and then terminates in death. The feelings associated with each phase vacillate between fear and love, but death is most feared.

Death is frequently associated with the loss of a loved one, but can also signify the loss of a job/career, objects/things, the ending of a relationship, or simply the end of a day. When experiencing death, the living face uncertainty, doubt, and mortality issues while questioning faith and responsibility especially when loss is sudden, tragic, and/or self inflicted. The finality of loss reinforces the lack of control we have in life that our human conditioning denies. As a result, we cling onto our loved ones and things to give us a (false) feeling of control, closeness, and security.

The truth is we only have control of our self through our awareness of what is happening in each moment; and if we become attached, we will experience a tremendous amount of suffering. Since we mostly perceive death and loss as a dreadful experience; how can we alleviate suffering in this context?

Our connection with the divine, God, Universe, etc., is critical to ease our suffering. Attributing an evolutionary significance to each situation and outcome (positive and negative) reestablishes faith and a sense of control when we are intensely emotional in any situation. When experiencing death, of a person or pet, a long-time career, or significant relationship… it is difficult to maintain our center of joy and faith that is innate in all of us. It is not uncommon to feel hopeless, depressed, and angered by a deeply personal event, or the atrocities that occur every day on our planet.

It is important to look at the big picture, from a spiritual perspective, in order to make sense of it all. Everyone has a story, a karma, and purpose that we are not fully aware. As each human has a unique finger print, and our personal stories vary slightly or dramatically to test our fortitude in life. However tragic a death, it serves as an experience and opportunity for the living.

Spiritual lessons and significance are ever present. When death arrives (and it’s not us), it is time to stop and reflect. Powerful emotions are guaranteed during this time if we choose to observe what is happening instead of denying or distracting our self from the inevitable pain. Even in an aware state there is pain, but it progresses more quickly when we invite healing.

During the five (5) stages of loss (Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression/Sadness, and Acceptance), the order in which we process varies as each stage can intersect and revert to another…. Meaning, we can accept what has happened AND experience a level of disbelief/denial; sadness suddenly becomes fury/anger, and then we fall into sadness once again. The more we connect to our spiritual nature, the less confusion we experience within our emotional body. As we evolve, the 5 stages become 3 as we accept, grieve, and let go.

Acceptance is a primary step towards healing the termination of any situation. If we do not accept what’s happened, we are resisting and prolong pain and suffering. Pain is part of the human experience, and in reference to death, we call it “grieving”.

Grieving is the process we often ignore because of the pain involved, yet we can never escape it. Here we experience intense emotions: sadness, anger, joy, disbelief…etc. These emotions are not always expressed in the context of the death that has occurred. Anger, for instance, can manifest in our work life, if we have experienced the death of a loved one at home. Any issues that exist within our personal landscape become more profound; so if there exists a moderate amount of anger before the death, it will magnify.
Most of us access our favorite addictions in order to avoid feeling grief. Our addictions can be substances (drugs, alcohol, and food) or processes (work, sex, gambling, as well as acting out behaviors like rescuing, martyrdom, codependency). It is said that “we can’t cheat death”, and the same holds true for grief. Grief is death for the living and must be respected in terms of the time it takes; it too is cyclical, symbolic, and natural…and will end. Ready or not, it forces us to let go!

Letting go is when we fully release our control and attachment to finality. As living beings, we are not adept at letting go. We stay in negative relationships too long, mundane jobs, and keep other beings alive too long, all to satisfy our shadow side. If we can identify our motives in preserving that which is dying, we can liberate our self from repeated patterns of pain. We can also prepare our self for the cessation of all things in our spiritual practice, prior to the time when things are obviously ending. This helps us develop a healthy level of detachment, expediting the trauma and drama that often occurs with the experience of death.

Human evolution has made great strides in keeping us alive longer, while pension/retirement plans entice us to remain at a career/job long term. Trading quality of life for quantity is not likely to enhance our experience in living. There are exceptions, and embracing death through the multitude of daily examples will ease our soul through these necessary transitions.
The most important consideration in processing death is to look at our own creation in the present moment and ask our self; is the relationship with our mate, family, friends, and the world at large healthy and harmonious? Are we content and fulfilled in our career and daily life? Are there unresolved issues/conflicts or lack of closure in any part of our life?

Identifying the truth about our life in the moment, gives us an opportunity to assess our current situations. Even though reincarnation is possible, now is the time to clean up any messes and organize that which we will leave behind (children and/or pets) so we can free our soul.
It is important to connect with others spiritually and engage a support system here on Earth, also known as friends or soulmates!

We evolve through remembering we came in with nothing, that we will leave the same way, and there is internal work to be done while we are here. Greater awareness is the death of our ego control and the birth of our spirit. Living in gratitude, paired with contentment of our creation, allows us to experience the ultimate life in each moment and as with all things, “this too shall pass”.

For more information or to discuss this topic, contact Julia George / AquarianAge at 561.750.9292

by Laura Castanza and Julia George ©2014

The relationships we develop in this lifetime with our fellow Earth beings begin with our immediate caregivers. From this foundation, we connect with others as acquaintances, friendships, and intimate partnerships. The primary link to the health of these relationships is based on the feelings experienced with others at the time of each encounter. But how often are we present to what we are truly feeling during our interactions and not distracted by unseen forces?

The answer (in the question) is elusive because we feel like we are present with others due to a vast array of unidentifiable feelings/emotions that arise. What we fail to realize is the emotions felt during the course of an interaction are common, frequent, and fluid. Like blood running to our heart, our emotions flow outward from the heart to the head, triggering many associated thoughts from our past. We experience pleasure or pain, subtly or intensely. Either way, we may not be emotionally available or present as this occurs due to our conscious mind being elsewhere and our subconscious mind controlling our responses.

Emotional availability is being conscious of our feelings (the practice of emotional awareness) in the moment, and relating to others compassionately from the inside out. Compassion is a culmination of love, empathy, and detachment. First and foremost, we take care of our self. Then, we can relate to how others feel because we have felt the same way and acknowledge the feelings and expression of the other. As a result, we maintain healthy boundaries/self care practices. When practicing emotional awareness, we respond to what is happening in an aware manner instead of reacting unconsciously. This maintains a level of balance in any situation. It matters not whether others are equally emotionally available unless we choose to cultivate a deeper and more intimate relationship with them (a friendship or partnership).

The awareness of our feelings diminishes during the course of our upbringing as most of us experienced dysfunction within our families resulting in emotional wounds. The casualty is always the heart with our mind as the interpreter. Physical bumps, bruises, and breaks heal much more quickly than our heart and our mind. We may consciously confess our experiences and believe we are “over” them; but truthfully we build up defense mechanisms within our subconscious to keep us safe. In turn, we may be outwardly expressive and described as “emotional”, but yet still remain shadowy, dark, and out of touch with our deepest feelings.

Emotional unavailability and unawareness plagues our planet. As a species disengaged from our emotion body, we wreak havoc on our self and the rest of the world. We act out our emotions as auto-responses/reactions, mostly based in fear, without any regard to the impact. It is not our conscious intention to behave so blindly, and requires immediate attention if we are to survive and live fully. We are prematurely dying in our ignorance and dying of disease (dis-ease).

When defense mechanisms from childhood remain in place as adults, energy does not flow freely and our physical body is riddled with tension, stress and disease. The parts of the body most affected are the heart and lungs. Since our emotional body responses to “matters of the heart”, it is natural that the heart is the center of strength and weakness. The lungs are the organ of our life force, the breath. Without breathing, we die. Heart disease, the number one killer of humans, begins with emotional illness. Although this is a dramatic realization of the human condition, we have the opportunity to heal through the “softer” side of our self.

Vulnerability is commonly seen as a weakness, but it is strength, reinforcing the heart = love. In our most vulnerable time period, childhood, we may have experienced control, manipulation, abuse, neglect, exploitation, etc… from our caregiver(s). Consciously or subconsciously we then disconnected from our vulnerability, and began to harden our self. These experiences were real and remain in our psyche because “nothing can be eliminated from the mind through willful intent” – Carl Jung. Meaning, we cannot be rid of our experiences or memory from our past; we can only transform the feelings regarding what happened. As we learn to identify and observe our feelings, we must learn the fine art of constantly removing judgments. Allowing our self to experience vulnerability happens when we reestablish a level of trust. This trust is all about ourselves and realizing that we can never truly trust another until we trust ourselves. We must then understand that absolute trust is unattainable due to the absolute unreliability of human emotions. Only through this realization can we become real and free!

Trust and faith are synonymous, and equate to what we believe something or someone to be. The investment of trust has an illusory aspect to being external; we look outside of our self for trust or faith to prove itself to us. Mistakenly, we do not manifest trust in many situations because we do not know our self well enough; also, we do not trust our self or have faith in our process or Universal Law. If we do not identify our own ability to waver, falter, or change our mind, we instill trust into people or things that will show us those traits in our own being. As this occurs, our trust diminishes further, along with our faith. It is a vicious cycle that can make us vicious. Emotional awareness is the only way out.

Awareness is our first step to healing, acquiring skills is the second, and finally, putting it into practice for a lifetime! Once we know how we are operating, we must implement skills to change. This involves breaking our pattern through interrupting our reactions/patterns. Consciousness is vital, and so is objectivity in observing our thoughts. If we become complacent, lazy, or attached, we will remain stuck.

Changing routine or considering a new approach to repeated situations helps us evolve. Seeing the world with the eyes of a child, allows us to embrace every opportunity as adventure. The newness of life will reawaken us to be in the moment and learn more about our self with others. This is not about throwing caution to the wind; it is about being open to what we are experiencing and making conscious choices towards betterment. Having healthy boundaries and understanding how we will participate, will be our saving grace when we are in situations or circumstances that challenge the very core of our being.

It is essential to have a sense of humor in our healing. We will not necessarily resonate or like what we experience, as there will be many reminders of our past in the mix. This is the impetus to healing, and remembering to take things impersonally will ease the lessons at hand.

Most importantly, connect with others who are also working towards healing and raising their human potential. Teachers are everywhere; jesters and charlatans, along with the wise and true. Take it all in, know we are all the same, and persevere to be emotionally available in this lifetime through feeling, dealing, and healing. This is the answer to the evolution of our soul and all of mankind.

For those interested in Shadow Workshops and/or one-on-one Soul Sessions, please call Julia George @ 561.750.9292

“Julia’s fearless and direct approach is precisely what is needed when one must dive into the “darkness” within themselves. She has an amazing gift.  It takes you into those places we so often refuse to go, but know that we must.  With her ability to pinpoint the issues we struggle with and place them directly in front of our face, we have no choice but to deal with them.

It was exactly what I needed, and ultimately, a requirement to address the self-imposed suffering we so often create in our minds. It’s work, but it’s worth it when you gain the ability to love yourself completely.”

Kevin W –  Actor / Writer / Agent