by Laura Castanza and Julia George ©2018
Our lives are a culmination of personal experiences from this lifetime and others, shaped by family, culture, and society. We openly share it or selectively hide it. Either way, our story lives within us as a blessing or a burden depending upon our level of awareness. Once we decide to investigate how our story drives our experiences, we can release any control it has over the choices we make. It is only at this point where we are able to move forward with more freedom and opportunity for peace.
Our primary caregivers are the main characters in our story. They influence our perceptions and behaviors at the time when we are most impressionable. Even as information technology brings faraway places, energy, and people into our environment, most of our stories manifest from our immediate, interpersonal relationships.
All of our experiences are linked to feelings or sensations that become a memory or mental construct known as “the story”. Created by every experience and catalogued in our mind, we often reference the past as thoughts, but our memories are rooted in feeling. Thinking is an assessment or interpretation from those feelings which guide our journey. An experience might provoke a feeling of high levels of ecstasy or misery, and everything in between. Our perception makes the feeling real and tangible. From there, we are attracted or distanced consciously, unconsciously, or more often subconsciously, to situations that initiate a particular feeling we felt in the past.
It has been discovered that even within the same family unit where a child has a perception of their experience, the family members can have a totally different view of what actually happened, but the child’s perception is still valid and in need of healing. The feelings remain real to the adult child although the details of the story are questionable.
We cannot clearly see and we are not open to, what is in front of us when our subconscious memories are influencing a present moment experience. As a result, we squelch what could be an opportunity or a receptive line of communication because we “think” we know the thoughts and behaviors of others. This is the lie that leads us down a dark path of generalizations, discrimination, and conflict.
Considering the human thought process, we can barely catch what we are thinking and why, and therefore project onto others to validate what we believe is true. We want to be right, even if it’s unhealthy. It is an addictive process we develop when the quest for our wants exceeds our innate sense of what is best for us.
Tracking our mind is the most important aspect of our evolution as a human that we constantly ignore. Consider that war and peace are driven by human emotion…If we had greater discipline and understanding the tremendous influence our emotions play in the course of our life, we could experience true peace within and without more often than not.
Although we can look at peace from a collective stand point such as “world peace”, the healing of humanity can only happen through individual effort. World peace is beyond our grasp when we have not healed the story on a personal level. When we blame the world, we are looking outside of our self, deeming our self powerless, and losing control and direction. Inner peace is the place to focus and apply our energy. This requires a level of stillness in our day to day life, through reflecting upon actions and movements we make alone and with others. When we work on creating an unshakable personal energy system, the external chaos has little to do with our well being. Regaining center when the world is out of balance is possible and more quickly accessible.
Emotions dominate the story and is a repeated and burdensome process we live out unconsciously until we have honed our awareness. Every person, place, or thing is the by-product of the feelings (positive or negative) that perpetuate until we learn the best way to experience our lives. One example is the thought process surrounding our job. If we come from a family, culture, or society that perceives work as an arduous necessity that must be endured at any cost to survive, then we will be inclined to that mode of operation.
Similar stories play out in our relationships, especially when partnering with another. Whether business, personal, or more intimate, the story can override growth and opportunity because of the past at play. There will always be traits exhibited in others so familiar to us that we react in patterns from the past. When the story is running in the recesses, it is a foundation that turns negative when projected onto the present moment. When we track our mind and become aware of any past story at any given moment, we can correct it and move forward. This aggressive intervention will liberate our self and illuminate what is right in front of us.
Our awareness that all situations offer lessons that can become more positive as we engage without judgment, allows us to remain open with others and experience the meaning of our engagement. Without it, we are not growing. There is no problem in being discerning of situations, as long as we do not shroud them in the story. Growth and healing through interpersonal relating is why we are here, and our progress depends on our responses.
Our interactions are co-creations with those we encounter. There is freedom in knowing we can positively navigate our energy system and our interactions. It matters not how others respond IF we are coming from a place of awareness where we honor our self and others. When we are enmeshed in the story, we lose sight of our intention. The story appears when we are not aware, to then become a hard lesson. Awareness is our ally and we can only access this tool through consistent practice of being in the moment. We arrived in the body with this ability, and it is our responsibility to find the way to transform the story, change the energy, and be free.
For more information or to discuss this topic one-on-one, contact Julia George at 561.750.9292
See The Story as published in Natural Awakenings Broward June 2018 edition.